How It Has To Be
by CeleryStyx
Summary: Dustin and Kendall were always best friends. So being more than that only made sense. There's no one else they'd rather be with anyways. Right? Dustin isn't so sure anymore. Lustin and possible other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Alright alright. I've been holding this captive since April. I'm finally going back to it to finish it so I figured I'd post it. Also, because some people (you know who you are) forced me into it. I have more written but I'll wait to see if you guys want me to continue it or not. Happy reading!

*Disclaimer* Must I be reminded that I don't own Big Time Rush or Dustin Belt? Cause I don't and I'm not happy about it.

Dustin made his way to Kendall's dressing room. The security guards that worked on the Paramount lot all recognized him by now. He'd been coming to visit Kendall at least twice a week since the show got picked up for a second season. However, he'd been going up there even more because he got the gig as Big Time Rush's official guitar player in the backing band. It worked for him. He got to play guitar and hang out with Kendall, two of his favorite things. He also got to make fun of Kendall for his cliché boy band moves that made the fangirls squeal. Poor girls had no idea they didn't stand a chance with the very blonde, very gay, heartthrob. Nope, Kendall was all Dustin's. The way they both liked it.

Dustin turned down the hall to Kendall's dressing room. He slowed when he heard the strum of a guitar. It wasn't necessarily the guitar sound that intrigued him, it was the timid strum. It definitely wasn't Kendall playing guitar in there. The blonde had a way of playing guitar rather confidently. He was a step away from appearing cocky. Whoever was playing right now was nervous and had obviously never played before.

He peered around the corner into the open doorway. He spotted a sad looking Logan sitting on Kendall's couch with an acoustic guitar in his lap. He was looking down at the strings with his eyebrows knitted in a determined fashion. He tried moving his fingers and strumming a little more defiant. The guitar wasn't having it. The sound was a random bunch of clipped notes that made Dustin cringe. Logan groaned and dropped his hands.

"Why do I even bother?" Logan said to himself. He grabbed the guitar's neck and went to put it down.

"Wait." Dustin walked quickly into the room to stop him. Logan looked up quickly and froze. Dustin even surprised himself. He was about to just head towards set where he figured Kendall was. Something about Logan and that determined look made Dustin need to help the younger man. Also, he hadn't talked to Logan alone since that night almost three years ago.

He hit the door with his hand to close it a little. It closed about half way. He stood there awkwardly glancing at Logan through his thick framed glasses. "Don't give up. If you wanna play, play. Do you know how?" Dustin already knew Logan had no idea what he was doing; he just wanted to hear the other man say something again.

Logan had been more than surprised to see Dustin come waltzing in the door. Kendall or the other guys were always around when they were together. The quiet, intimate moment made Logan uneasy. He was happy it was finally just the two of them again but he had wanted it to be under different circumstances. Not now.

Logan was always so confident, whether it be back flips or awkward dancing. He didn't need Dustin seeing him at his most vulnerable. However, just the fact that Dustin was talking to him again, with his full attention on him, put a small smile on his face. Until he remembered that the he had been asked a question.

Logan glanced down at the guitar, disappointed. "No. Kendall was going to teach me today but he got called back to set." Well there went any chance of impressing him.

Logan was pleasantly surprised when the other boy didn't laugh at him, but walked over and sat beside him on the couch.

"Well, I've got time. I kind of know a thing or two about guitars. Would you want me to show you some stuff?" Dustin gave Logan his best grin and the shorter boy almost felt lightheaded.

Logan's eyebrows shot up and he tried not to look too surprised by Dustin's offer. "Uhh, sure. I m-mean, if you don't have anything better to do." Logan shrugged trying to seem nonchalant even though he was tripping over his words.

Dustin raised one eyebrow, "Logan. It's either play guitar with you or go watch Kendall make ridiculous faces at the camera for a few hours." He laughed and Logan was glad he was sitting down. He knees wobbled just sitting there.

Logan laughed with Dustin and smiled his famous lopsided smile. Whether Dustin realized it or not, he picked Logan over Kendall. _No._ Logan thought. _He chose guitar over being bored. It has nothing to do with you. He's obviously in love with Kendall. He's meant to be with Kendall. Not me._ Why did he care so much anyway? It shouldn't even be in his mind to think of Dustin and Kendall's relationship. Logan would never have Dustin. _Whoa. What? I don't want Dustin!...Except when he smiles at me like that...No! Even then. He's Kendall's boyfriend… He smells nice._

Dustin scooted closer to Logan where they were thigh to thigh now. "Alright, so let's do this." Dustin said. Logan swallowed thickly and looked down at Dustin's hands moving toward the guitar in his lap.

"So, all you have to do to play an F Chord is put your fingers on these frets. Now, you strum." Dustin put his arm behind Logan and his long, slender fingers over the strings he'd become familiar with. Logan strummed and tried to breath at the same time. It made a perfect pitch that he'd had heard plenty of times. This time was a bit different though.

"See how that sounds? That's an F. Now you try without me." Dustin removed his arm from Logan's back. Logan sighed quietly and tried to mimic where Dustin's fingers had been. He put them in the general area of where Dustin's had been. He had been paying close attention to Dustin's proximity rather than his guitar playing. He hoped for the best and strummed again. A broken, out of tune, note cut through the quiet room. Logan half groaned and his shoulders slumped. Dustin quickly moved even closer. They were side-to-side now as well. Friends sat this close right?

"No. No wait. You were almost there. You just need a little...guidance. That's where I come in." He put his arm behind Logan again and lightly placed his hand over the smaller one's shaking fingers. Which Dustin assumed was from Logan's nerves to learn a new instrument. "Here. Like this." Dustin was leaning forward to look around Logan's chest to see where to move their hands to.

Logan was trying to at least appear calm. Inside he was freaking the fuck out. He couldn't decide if he should focus on the guitar, Dustin's arm behind his back, his hand being covered by Dustin's bigger one, or dead puppies. He really didn't need to get a boner right now.

Once their fingers were in place, Dustin leaned back but was pretty much in Logan's bubble. Their faces were only a few inches apart but Logan was looking down until Dustin got his attention.

"Alright, that's where your fingers go. So all you've gotta do is..." Logan looked right into Dustin's eyes. Dustin stopped talking and stared back at the other brunette. Their chocolate eyes were locked and had no sign of changing. Dustin licked his lips, nervously. Of course it didn't go unnoticed by Logan. His eyes went down to Dustin's freshly wet lips. He knew what the taller boy wanted. Dustin started leaning in and he could feel his breath when he said, "strum."

Logan dropped his hand and strummed that same beautiful note as before as he closed the gap between them and kissed the other man. They both let out a breath they'd been holding thru their noses. Dustin took the guitar from Logan and set it down on the couch beside him, never breaking the kiss. It was sweet and desperate and wet and just not enough for either of them.

Logan knew he shouldn't be doing this. No one ever had this effect on Logan. Not the confident Logan that all the ladies loved. This one guy comes along and flips everything around. Logan wasn't even gay! He's never even thought about another guy like that before. Well, he appreciated other guys' good looks but he would never date another guy, or kiss another guy. All that went out the window when Dustin had licked his lips and just looked at him. Of course, he was indeed kissing him now and didn't want to be thinking. Just feeling what he's wanted to feel for 3 years.

Dustin put one hand on Logan's neck and the other on his hip, squeezing lightly. Logan knew he needed to stop this before they got too far but he couldn't find the strength in himself to do it. Instead, he threw caution to the wind and straddled Dustin's hips. They both smiled into the kiss and Logan licked his way into the other's mouth. Dustin's smile was replaced by a groan at Logan's small act of dominance. Logan grinned wickedly because Dustin's groan caused his stubble to tickle the boy on top. Dustin's hands quickly made their way to Logan's ass. The shorter boy slid closer to Dustin and raked his hands through the already messy hair below him.

Dustin nipped at Logan's lower lip and it caused the shorter boy's hips to jerk. Dustin squeezed his ass even tighter and they moaned together when their jean-clad members brushed against each other. They started rocking together awkwardly on the couch. The room became stuffy and filled with "ooh's" and "fuck yeah's" and loud panting. Logan was never very quiet in the bedroom. Being with Dustin enhanced everything so he couldn't help it when his moans steadily got louder as his neck was assaulted by said boy.

"Fuck, Dustin, so good!" Logan groaned.

Carlos was not usually an eavesdropper. However, today he found himself standing outside of Kendall's dressing room, camera in hand, recording Logan's make-out sesh with some random guy. He just assumed it would come in handy later for blackmail purposes or just for a good laugh with James and Kendall. He couldn't tell who the guy was with Logan because of his friend kind of being in his lap. He could tell Logan definitely enjoyed whoever it was though. Carlos had never even heard a girl moan as much (or as loud) as Logan which made him giggle even harder from outside the door.

However, all his giggles died down when he heard Logan quite distinctly say, "Fuck, Dustin, so good." Logan was making out with Dustin. Dustin, as in Kendall's boyfriend, Dustin. "Aw, fuck." Carlos muttered as he slid his camera back in his pocket. He turned quickly and ran down the hallway. He had to find James. James would know what to do.

Logan stilled his hips immediately. He pushed Dustin's chest. He fell back after making a 'pop' from disconnecting from Logan's collarbone.

"Wait. Did you hear that?" Logan asked with wide eyes. They both listened for sounds but the room was deathly quiet.

"Nope. Nothing." Dustin whispered as he went back to where he left off on Logan's collarbone. Logan almost gave in but knew that he had heard something. It had to be a sign right?

"No. Dustin. We can't do this... It's wrong." Logan whispered sadly. He finally had what he'd been dreaming about. However, if he continued, the guilt would surely kill him.

Dustin sat back and rubbed his hands over his face. Logan felt a little emptier and lighter when there was no more pressure on his sore ass. There would probably be bruises on his milky skin there and on his neck.

Dustin groaned, "God, you're right. What the fuck just happened? I've never lost it like that before. I made it three years without attacking you. I guess I just finally snapped." He was more talking to himself than Logan.

Logan frowned, "Yeah, me neither. I've never even kissed another guy before. Well, not sober anyways. Wait, you've wanted to "attack" me for three years?" Logan's eyebrow rose and he almost smiled.

Dustin smirked, "I don't know what you're talking about..." Then his face turned serious, "So... Is this gonna be weird now or do we just pretend it didn't happen? I mean, we obviously weren't thinking straight… Pun intended."

Logan grinned. Bad joke or not, Dustin was adorable. Nontheless, he wasn't sure what they should do. Logan opened and closed his mouth a few times before he sighed. He wanted to tell Dustin the truth. Tell him how much he's wanted him since that party they met at 3 years ago. The only problem with that was that he was afraid Dustin felt the same. Logan would never purposefully hurt Kendall. They had become best friends over the years and he knew Kendall would never betray him like Logan had already done. He had to do what he had to do. He lied.

"Yeah, nothing happened. We were both just really tired or something. Not thinking clearly." Logan tried to laugh it off like it was no big deal. Inside, he was slowly breaking. He finally had what he wanted but it was ripped out of his hands. What made it worse was that he had done the ripping to himself.

Dustin nodded but looked semi-disappointed for a second before he covered it with a small smile. "Hey, we can still be buds and stuff though right? Since, nothing happened?"

Logan grinned as best as he could and it came out more of a grimace. Dustin rubbed Logan's arm in a soothing manor. "Logan." The boy in question felt his knees would've given out again if he hadn't still been in Dustin's lap. Just because he said his name? That's all it took? Really?

Logan had to swallow the lump in his throat to reply, "What?" is all he could get out.

"Quit stressing so much. I can feel it pouring off you. Come here." Dustin held his arms open and Logan quickly closed the gap and put his head into the taller boy's broad chest. It was definitely helping Logan relax but at the same time he was even more confused than before.

"Dustin?" Logan whispered into the other's shirt.

"Hmm?" He questioned.

"We're definitely acting like something happened." Logan laughed. "And I'm still in your lap."

Dustin looked down, "So you are. Are you planning on un-mounting me today?" he smirked.

Logan found himself swooning at that smirk yet again. "Maybe. Maybe not." Logan whispered into Dustin's ear, not able to fight his flirtatious nature. "Are you gonna keep being a sex panther?"

Dustin shivered at Logan's unusually sexy tone. He couldn't help himself when he snaked his arms around Logan's waist, pulling him closer. He whispered back into Logan's ear, "Keep talking like that, and I'll be whatever you want me to be." He nibbled Logan's ear lobe.

Logan groaned and shivered before his eyes went wide. He pushed himself out of Dustin's lap, landing straight on his back on the floor. "Dude! This," he motioned between the two of them frantically, "isn't how to act like nothing happened! Anyone could tell something the fuck happened here!" Logan was starting to feel hysterical. He kept sitting on the floor because he didn't trust his feet yet.

Dustin put his head between his knees and groaned. "What the fuck have you done to me Logan?" he laughed humorlessly. "Seriously, I feel like... Well, I mean, it doesn't matter. Nothing happened, right?"

Logan nodded, not looking at the other. Dustin stood up and helped Logan up as well. He held Logan's hand a second longer than normal but eventually let go and put his head down. He walked towards the door, leaving Logan by himself.

Before he walked out the door, Dustin turned and had one more thing to say to Logan. "Logan?" The boy in question turned around to face Dustin. "I'm sorry. About that party-" Logan knew Dustin was about to tell him something they'd both been thinking about since that night three years ago. He knew if Dustin told him he regretted being with Kendall, they'd both feel horrible about it later and Kendall would be devastated. No, they belonged together. They complimented each other and Logan couldn't imagine Kendall with anyone else.

"Dustin. Don't. Seriously, it's all in the past. Let's not think about what could've happened, ok?" Logan looked at Dustin with a small smile. Dustin frowned and looked away from the other boy. Logan continued, "Now, you better get to movin! I bet Kendall's missing you on set."

Dustin gave Logan a sad smile, understanding why Logan was letting him down gently. They both knew this was for the best, even if it wasn't what either of them wanted. This is how it had to be.


	2. Chapter 2

*FLASHBACK*

The party was in full swing when Kendall and Dustin finally showed up. Kevin had invited them and Kendall couldn't say no to his brother. Dustin tagged along to be Kendall's wing man because he'd secretly been crushing on his best friend for forever and wanted to make sure the blonde didn't get into trouble. Or get hit on by girls. Dustin also wasn't one to say no to free drinks.

They just walked around for a few minutes, saying 'hey' to the random people they recognized. Dustin made his way to the keg while Kendall was talking to his brother's friend Sam. Dustin was on his way back but got side tracked when he heard singing coming from down a random hallway in the house. His eyebrows knitted together. The singing was actually really good and he wanted to go see who it was that caught his attention. He started walking towards the closed door but then he remembered Kendall's drink in his hand. He looked down at the cups then back at the door. _What to do? Alright, fine. I'll grab Kendall then come back and check this out. Dude in there has some mad talent._

He would've run to his best friend if there weren't tons of people gyrating all over the dance floor he was trying to make his way through.

"Excuse me. Excuse me" is how Dustin politely made his way through to begin with. By the time he was halfway through the crowd it turned into, "Move. Comin' through. Please don't jizz on me." Things along those lines.

He finally spotted Kendall near a wall with a girl practically throwing herself at him. She'd be touching Kendall's stringy muscles that Dustin loved so much, at every chance she got. Kendall saw him and his eyes went wide for a second. Dustin recognized the sign. Kendall needed saving from this floozy. Dustin smiled and made his way over to the teen being man-handled. He was sure to stand extremely close to the blonde.

"Hey, baby, here's your drink. Who's your little friend?" Dustin smiled wide at the short brunette that was not wearing near enough clothes. He handed Kendall his drink and put his arm behind the younger boys back. Dustin pulled him in close to show that Kendall was his. They always did this when either needed saving from some drunk bimbo.

Kendall smiled at his savior for a quick second before turning back to the girl, "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't get your name." He smiled at her and snuggled in next to Dustin.

She scoffed, "Does it even matter? I should've known you were gay. Look at that shirt." The nameless brunette started making her way back into the party.

Kendall waved to her back, "Well, nice almost meeting you. I love your outfit. If anyone can bring back the skank-hoe look, it's you honey." Kendall called after her, rolling his eyes and being sure to sound extremely flamboyant. "Do I really look that gay tonight?" Kendall asked Dustin quietly.

"What do you mean?" Dustin asked detaching himself from Kendall unwillingly.

"I mean, does this shirt really make me look gay?" Kendall asked eyeing his new hipster tank he'd bought a couple weeks ago.

"No. The fact that you just asked that makes you gay." Dustin chuckled at the narrowed eyes Kendall shot his way. "Quit pouting and come with me."

Dustin grabbed his best friend's skinny wrist and started pulling him towards that hallway he'd been thinking about. He briefly heard Kendall say something like, "Be careful, don't want to be seen holding hands with the gay boy in the gay tank. We're on a gay conga to gay town."

Dustin stopped them and turned. "Hey. Even if you were gay, at least you're holding my hand. I mean, we're obviously the best looking people here so it only makes sense we're together." He grinned at the blonde who was smiling shyly.

Kendall looked down as Dustin properly grabbed his hand. They had never really had a moment like this where they were so close to spilling their guts about there feelings for the other. They stood there another few seconds, just smiling at each other. Dustin felt like if he looked into Kendall's eyes, while he was staring back _like that_, he'd do something crazy. Like molest Kendall's mouth in front of all those people. That would be bad. Kendall was apparently thinking something along those lines because he broke their gaze and the silence, "So, where are you dragging me to?"

"Right! This way."

Dustin continued dragging Kendall through the sweaty masses to that hallway. When he got to the cracked doorway, he listened. That voice was still singing. _Radiohead. Nice._

Dustin kept his ear cocked towards the crack in the door for a few moments until he felt Kendall's back press into his. Kendall's voice spoke right in Dustin's ear, "What are you waiting for?" Kendall was obviously amused at the other's eavesdropping behavior.

Dustin stood up straight and turned to his friend. "I don't want to be rude, Kendall. That guy's in there singing and I don't want to be responsible for messing him up." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Kendall. Truthfully, he was scared about seeing the face that went with that voice. He just wanted to listen to the singing all day.

Kendall gave him a sarcastic look with his lips pouted to the side. Dustin had seen this look many a time. "Dude. Don't be such a pansy. That guy's good. If he's singing in front of people, he knows he's good. We won't mess him up. Besides, I see Kevin sitting on the floor in there. Come on."

Kendall pushed past Dustin and opened the door and went and sat next to his brother. Dustin looked down, not looking at the guy yet. He looked around and noticed about 7 or 8 other people in there besides him, Kendall, and the guy singing. One other guy was playing guitar for the boy singing. That voice hit a high note spot-on and Dustin got chills. He couldn't help but look up at that.

Good God, he was gorgeous. The guy wasn't very tall or really muscular or anything. Dustin could tell he was fit even though he was wearing a cardigan, covering everything. His hair was long and shaggy, like Dustin's but definitely in better condition. This guy definitely cared about his appearance. Dustin could imagine him taking a while to pick out the perfect outfit and grooming his hair just so. He couldn't be more than 17 or 18. Definitely closer to Kendall's age than his. However, what Dustin found the most interesting was this guy's face. His mouth in particular. Not in a dirty way. He was just really liking this guys mouth. Especially when it was sporting a lopsided grin like it was right then. However, what held his attention was the guy's intense gaze that was focused on him.

Dustin's mouth fell slightly open. This kid was looking right at him. They held eye contact for at least a few bars in the music. Dustin finally broke the connection when he felt Kendall elbow his side. He turned to look at his friend. Kendall leaned over to whisper in Dustin's ear, "You realize you're staring right? I think you're freaking him out."

Dustin looked back at the short brunette. Maybe Kendall was right. He wasn't looking at Dustin anymore. He was looking anywhere but at Dustin actually. When his eyes landed on Kendall, Dustin noticed his eyes darkened for a brief second. _Whoa. What was that? This guy doesn't seem too fond of Kendall. Why won't he look at me anymore? _Dustin was too focused on his own thoughts; he hadn't noticed the singing stop and Kevin talking.

"You guys should sing together!" Kevin was motioning between Kendall and the other boy. Dustin looked at the shorter boys face for that malice he saw a moment ago but it was gone. Instead, his face was beaming. His eyes were deceiving though. Dustin could tell this boy wanted nothing to do with Kendall. Why could no one else see it?

"Sure. What do you like?" The other boy asked Kendall. His talking voice was even cute to! _How is he real? _Dustin thought.

"Uhh, lots of stuff. Do you like Incubus or Taking Back Sunday or anything? We could do New American Classic?" Kendall asked standing up to shake his hand.

They shook hands quickly but the boy shook his head slightly, "I don't really know the words. What about Maroon 5? I know a lot of their words and they're a little more mainstream."

Dustin was freaking out. He loved Kendall's voice when they sang Maroon 5 together. Hell, he loved Kendall's voice whenever. It was what first got Dustin thinking of him as more than just a friend. However, hearing Kendall and this new guy singing together? _Yeah, my brain's going to explode._ _If my pants don't first._

The shaggy haired cutie asked the guitarist, "Do you know any Maroon 5?" The other guy just shook his head and yawned.

Dustin let out a puff of air. _Good. I don't know if I could take them singing Maroon 5 together._ Right after he thought it, Kendall turned to his best friend.

"Oh, wait. Dbelt knows Maroon 5. We play it all the time. Will you play for us?" Kendall was sporting his puppy dog eyes. Dustin was no match for those eyes.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, if that's ok with-" the guy with the guitar just kind of shrugged and thrust the guitar at Dustin as he made his way back to the party.

Kendall clapped his hands together, "Ok, let's do this."

Dustin settled in the other guitarists chair and started strumming the chords he had memorized. He was glad to have something familiar and stable in his hands. Kendall started singing first and Dustin's gaze landed on him. There was something so serene about the blonde when he sang. Dustin couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face at his best friend.

Then the other boy started singing and Dustin looked over at him. Their eyes locked again but this time Kendall didn't seem to notice. They both peered through their long bangs at the other. They held eye contact until the end of the song. Dustin played the final notes and everyone in the room clapped.

Dustin, Kendall and the shorter teen all wore matching smiles. Kendall bowed and looked to Dustin and the other singing boy, "Do you guys want a drink? I'm gonna go get one." Dustin and the other both shook their heads. Dustin stood up after a short awkward moment. He set down the guitar and headed for the door while Kevin and his friends were making conversation.

Dustin had to get away from that boy. He couldn't get his smile out of his mind. He found his way outside to his car. He sat on his trunk and put his head in his hands, trying to clear his head. All he wanted to do was forget about the adorable, gorgeous, talented boy inside the house. That would be easier said than done.

"H-Hey." Dustin heard a quiet voice in front of him. He raised his head and looked at the boy in front of him that had been haunting his thoughts just seconds before. He looked nervous but Dustin knew he must've looked the same to the other boy.

"Hey." Dustin said lamely. He wanted nothing more than to speak to this other boy and now he was drawing a blank.

"So, thanks for playing in there. It was a lot of fun." The other boy said trying to start conversation.

"Oh, yeah. It was fun. Kendall and I play Maroon 5 all the time." Dustin said grinning.

"Yeah, you guys seem close." Logan moved closer so there wasn't such a large gap between them.

"We've been best friends for a long time. We started a band a while ago to." Dustin smiled thinking of Kendall and their two-man band, Heffron Drive.

"Oh, wow. That's really cool. I don't think I could do that." He looked down grinning.

"Couldn't do what? Couldn't be in a band or have a best friend?" Dustin smiled at him and slid over on his trunk, patting the spot next to him.

He grinned back and hopped on the trunk with Dustin. "Be in a band. I want to, don't get me wrong. It's just really hard to try to get acting jobs and focus on music. I love both but I can't decide which I should really pursue. And I'm rambling. I didn't want to be that guy at the party that spills his whole life story." He laughed.

Dustin smirked, "Well, lucky for you, I'm that guy at the party that likes to listen to life stories." The other boy grinned and held out his hand.

"Well, Mr. Listener, I'm Logan." They shook hands.

"Dustin. Nice to officially meet you. Now, you're an actor? I bet you're amazing aren't you? I mean, after hearing you sing, I can only imagine your acting chops. Your voice is phenomenal." Dustin got quieter as the compliments kept rolling off his tongue.

Logan blushed and looked down. "Well, thanks. You're that guy that likes to compliment random guys at the party aren't you? Or are you just trying to get in my pants?" Logan raised a slender eyebrow.

Dustin couldn't help but laugh. "You caught me. Totally want in your pants. If you're asking my opinion though, you're voice is amazing but if you love acting, do that. You're still young. You can do anything you want. You've got the talent."

"You really believe in me that much? You don't even know me." Logan said fiddling with his hands.

"I don't need to know you to see what's blatantly obvious." Dustin said looking at Logan's face. He wanted nothing more than to hold Logan's fidgeting hands and kiss away the other's fear. That might be a little forward for the first time they've ever spoken. Also, where was this even coming from! Dustin only liked one boy. Just one. Not two!

Logan looked up at Dustin and smiled a wide smile at him. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, just admiring their time together.

Logan broke the silence, "So, are you and Kendall like together? Sorry, that's kind of blunt."

"No, it's ok. We're not together like that." Dustin said looking anywhere but at Logan. Why was he so curious anyways?

"Oh. You want to be though. I can tell." Dustin looked at Logan and the cute smirk he was wearing.

"Wow. I don't know what you're talking about." Dustin grinned. "But even if I did, Kendall doesn't go that way so..." He couldn't help but sound slightly disappointed. He'd really been crushing on Kendall a long time.

"Are you sure? I mean, did you see what he was wearing?" Logan laughed. Dustin smiled and nodded. "He likes you to, ya know? It's obvious."

"Well, aren't you omniscient?" Dustin said laughing. Logan was very direct and Dustin quite liked it a lot.

"I'm just sayin. I mean, how could he not? I-I mean, if I was into dudes, you'd totally be my type." Logan said stuttering over his words.

Dustin was flattered but slightly disappointed as well. He wasn't giving up so easily though. Logan wouldn't have said that if he wasn't a little curious. "If you were into dudes? Have you ever been with another guy Logan?"

Logan blushed at Dustin's quiet tone. "No, I haven't... Not yet."

Dustin and Logan locked eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that night. Logan made the first move. He licked his lips and leaned in towards Dustin. The older boy had no idea what to do. He knew he wanted Kendall more than anything. So, why were Logan's lips looking so good right now? _Screw it. Kendall doesn't want me. Logan might. Besides, he's really hot and that mouth. Don't get me started. Yeah, this is totally happening._

"Dbelllllt! Hhhey!" Kendall's voice cut through the silence making Logan jump back and almost fall off Dustin's trunk.

Kendall tripped his way over to his best friend and Logan. Dustin sighed and looked at Logan. The other man was looking anywhere but at Dustin. So the older boy looked at Kendall. He was drunk. Dustin could tell. Kendall stood in front of him and hugged him.

"I missed you." Kendall whispered loudly in his ear.

"Kendall, I just saw you 10 minutes ago." Dustin laughed as he hugged his friend back. Kendall was always a touchy drunk but Dustin knew he wasn't completely shit faced. Kendall was very aware of what he was doing.

"Well, I'm gonna head back into the party. Nice meeting you both. Dustin, thanks for... Just thanks." Logan slid off the back of Dustin's car and started heading back inside.

"Bye!" Kendall called from Dustin's shoulder.

Logan waved and threw a happy smile at Dustin. He smiled at Logan. They both knew Dustin was where he wanted to be, in Kendall's arms. They also knew if Kendall hadn't shown up, they'd be in each other's arms instead. Neither knew where it could've led to. It could've been a romance that fizzled after a few months, eternal love or just one night of amazing sex. Dustin was finding it hard to focus on the possibilities while Kendall was still draped over his lap.

"Kendall, how much have you had to drink?" Dustin asked amused as the blonde detached himself from him.

"Psh. Only like 2 beers. Maybe a shot or 4." Kendall giggled. Fucking giggled. How was Dustin supposed to hear that and not have a swollen heart?

"Ok, buddy. You ready to head home? Sounds like you've been having enough fun for the both of us." Dustin said walking over to Kendall, grabbing his hand.

Kendall looked down at their connected hands with his eyebrows knit and his lip between his teeth. Dustin knew that look well. Kendall was planning something.

The blonde's eyebrows shot up and he looked at his best friend, excitement in his eyes. "Can we stay a little while longer? I wanna dance." Kendall was practically jumping in place.

"You know you can't dance, right? But fine, go dance." Kendall pouted. Dustin laughed at his childish behavior.

Kendall stopped jumping and put their hands on his chest, suddenly not acting childish anymore. He whispered in Dustin's ear, "I wanna dance with you."

Dustin swallowed thickly and nodded. Suddenly his mouth didn't want to work anymore. Kendall smirked and led them back towards the house. He let the younger man lead him around the party, through the dancing teens scattered around the floor. There was almost no room for anyone else but Kendall managed to make them a spot between random sweaty bodies. Dustin wasn't focusing on them so much. His attention was solely on the blonde with the darker-than-usual green eyes who turned to face him.

He moved closer to Dustin so they were chest-to-chest now. The blonde wore his famous smirk while he started moving to the music. Dancing wasn't Kendall's strong suit but his hips definitely knew what they were doing. The boy's just so damn energetic, he could dance for hours. Dustin wouldn't have complained either. Not if Kendall kept moving against him and looking at him like _that._

Dustin didn't know if Kendall had planned this (he probably did) but Dustin had forgotten everything. He forgot where they were, who could be watching the two of them grinding on the dance floor. He forgot Logan.

Kendall had Dustin right where he wanted him and he knew it. _What a jerk. This is not fair. I'm supposed to dance with him like this but I still can't have him? I don't just want this, I want the whole thing._ Kendall winked at him and turned around so his ass was all up in Dustin's business. _Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I guess I'll take this for a while._

Dustin was trying his damndest to stay calm and keep his body in check. Kendall was drunk. Dustin didn't want to be that guy that took advantage of someone while they're inebriated. _Well, Kendall's not completely drunk. I've seen Kendall drunk. This is nothin compared to that. So, maybe if I just give in this once. No! Pull yourself together DBelt! He doesn't like you like that. He just got jealous you were talking to Logan and not him. Whoa... Kendall jealous? Maybe Logan was jealous too. What if they fought over me? And then made out? Oh God, that's hot. Stop it!_

Dustin must've been too absorbed in his thoughts because he had stopped dancing. Kendall definitely noticed. The blonde boy grabbed Dustin's hands and placed them on his hips that were still swaying in time with the beat.

"Like this." Kendall whispered huskily. He leaned his head back until it was resting on Dustin's shoulder. Dustin was trying his hardest to copy Kendall's moves and not get hard but he eventually threw caution to wind and did what felt natural. He got a firmer grip lower on Kendall's hips and when Kendall pressed back, he pressed forward. Kendall's eyes shot open and Dustin whispered back in Kendall's ear.

"How about like this?" He smirked into Kendall's neck when the other shuddered. Kendall sighed and ran his hands back through Dustin's messy hair.

They continued breathing heavily in each others' ears and touching for a song or two, until Kendall was done with all the teasing. He turned in the older man's arms quickly before Dustin even realized he had moved. His hands had stayed put so they were now resting on Kendall's ass. They just kept dancing in their close proximity, neither wanting to make the first move. Dustin didn't want to waste this chance. He squeezed Kendall's butt and pulled him even closer, making Kendall giggle again. Kendall put his face in Dustin's neck and exhaled.

"I've wanted this for so long." Kendall whispered huskily into Dustin's neck, not meaning to say it out loud. Dustin stopped moving. Had Kendall just said what he's been dying to hear?

Kendall shot back away from Dustin as far as the other dancing bodies would allow him. "Dustin. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything-" His eyes were wild, scared and most importantly, sober. Dustin knew Kendall meant what he had said. Dustin was in shock. Kendall felt the same way about him.

Dustin grabbed Kendall's arm and yanked him back to him so they were chest to chest again. "Kendall. Shut up." Dustin whispered as he closed the space between them. He and Kendall shared their first kiss in front of 50 random dancing people but neither cared. All that mattered was the other. It was as amazing as he had imagined over the past few years. Kendall's lips were soft and warm like Dustin had imagined. He pulled back and they just swayed together for a few moments. They were completely happy they finally had what they'd both been wanting for so long.

Dustin couldn't help the huge smile on his face. However, it dropped for a split second when he saw someone leaving out the door. The boy looked right at Dustin with a small lopsided grin and sad eyes. A boy wearing a cardigan.


	3. Chapter 3

Alright so this chapter. Yeah. This is where that whole angst thing comes in to play. Yeah, there's been some before but this just adds to it. It is all James pretty much. This whole chapter is just James and Carlos doin what they do.

*Disclaimer* I don't own Big Time Rush or Dustin Belt. Yadda yadda.

"James. Has anyone seen James? Don't ignore me people! I'll go diva. I'll do it!" Carlos had been searching for James for at least 10 minutes. That was way too long. He had looked everywhere. Rafters on the Big Time Rush set? No James. Fountain where they took inappropriate wet pictures? Good times, but no James. Random prop closet on the Glee set? Sparkly vests, no James.

He was now on set where he saw Kendall headed towards him after his little diva rant. Carlos' eyes grew three times in size and he turned on his heel to leave. He couldn't handle Kendall right now. All he could see was Logan grinding on DBelt and laughing while Kendall cried in the corner. Yeah, he had an overactive imagination but that could potentially happen! Not the laughing probably but the Kendall crying? Yeah, that was sure to happen if the blond found out. That's why Carlos had to find James. James would know what to do. Or, at least, Carlos wouldn't be alone.

They'd only been filming about 6 hours. There's no way James had already left. Carlos was beginning to get frantic. He was about to scream when he saw the show's creator walking towards him. Carlos let out a breath. Maybe he could just tell Scott and everything would be fine. Scott would fix everything.

"Scott, thank God. Can I talk to you?" Carlos asked.

Scott held up a finger as Carlos started to speak. "Hold that thought. Will you go get James for me? He's in his dressing room but not answering his phone."

His dressing room! How stupid. If James was really trying to hide, Carlos would have to talk to him later about finding better spots. Any old fool could find him in his dressing room. That was beside the point. Carlos knew where James was!

"Oh, sure. I'll go get him." Carlos said already preparing to sprint.

Scott stopped him. "Wait. Did you need to talk about something?" he asked awkwardly.

Carlos was already walking backwards, "Oh, no thanks. Got it covered." And he turned and ran down the hall.

Scott walked to the set shaking his head. "Thank God. Love that kid but he talks a mile a minute."

Carlos ran. He wasn't even paying attention when Dustin was leaving Kendall's dressing room with his head hanging. Dustin looked up for a split second to see Carlos' shocked face as they almost ran into each other. Literally.

"Jeez Carlos. Try Ritalin." Dustin called after him because Carlos continued running. All the Latino wanted to do was turn around and punch him square in the face. How dare he insult Carlos right after he cheated on his boyfriend. Kendall deserved so much better. Kendall deserved someone who'd balance him out and maybe, oh I don't know, not cheat on him! He deserved a nice guy that genuinely cared about him. Girls were out of the question.

He ran in the room and shut the door behind him, not bothering to knock. None of them had anything to hide. Well, besides Logan.

Finally, Carlos spotted his friend. James was asleep on the couch. He moved over to him and shook him mercilessly.

James' eyes flew open and he sat up quickly, "I was not napping!"

Carlos had taken a step back and was trying not to laugh. "Ok… Good. You awake now?"

"Of course I am." James said relaxing and slowly laying back down.

"'Cause I need to talk to you. It's kind of important." Carlos said getting quieter. He checked to make sure the door was closed and he sat on the couch next to James pushing his legs to make room.

"What's the matter? Why do you look so crazy? And sweaty? Have you been running?" James asked noticing how sweaty his other friends clothes looked.

"I've been looking for you." 

"You didn't think to check my dressing room first?" James asked amused.

"We never hide in obvious places! You know when we play hide-n-go-seek we're supposed to make it a challenge." Carlos said getting frustrated.

James laughed, "I wasn't hiding tho-"

"Dustin's cheating on Kendall!" Carlos said and covered his mouth quickly, his eyes wide. James stopped laughing.

"…..What? Are you sure? Carlos, if you're not 100% sure…" James said sitting up straighter.

Carlos shook his head, "No, I'm positive. I have it on tape." Now that Carlos was actually talking to James about it he wasn't so focused on holding it in. Now he was overcome with grief for Kendall.

James sat there for a couple moments, just processing. "Let me see." James said with a hard face.

Carlos pulled up the video but didn't want to show James if he was going to be this angry. He didn't even know Dustin cheated with Logan yet. Carlos didn't want to imagine what James would do.

"James. I think we should just wait until we've had time to really talk about this before we just jump into it. You don't wanna do something you'll regret." Carlos said cautiously.

James grabbed the camera. "Carlos, I'm not gonna regret hunting down this other guy and making sure he never sees Dustin again. I might not completely beat Dustin to a pulp either." James just shrugged like this was no big thing. Carlos had never seen James so…violent. Carlos hated what Dustin and Logan did but he would never physically hurt them. Even if he really wanted to, he wouldn't make an impact. He wasn't trained so he'd probably break his hand in the process rather than hurt anyone else. James on the other hand. He could really hurt someone.

"But James-" Carlos started.

"Shush!" James hit play on the video and his eyebrows knitted. "Carlos, this isn't even Dustin. This is Logan on some random-"

"_Fuck, Dustin, so good!"_

James just sat there. Even after the video ended, he didn't move. He couldn't believe what he just saw. He wouldn't believe what he just saw. It had to be some kind of prank. No, that didn't really just happen. Logan would never do that. James knew Logan and he wouldn't do that. He didn't know Dustin quite as well but he knew he cared about Kendall so why would he do it?

Slowly, James' disbelief turned to understanding and then turned to anger. Carlos could feel the change in his friend. He stood up from the couch and moved in front of James.

"Whoa whoa. I told you, we have to be calm. Let's not do anything rash." James growled at Carlos.

"I'm not being rash! They deserve everything they're gonna get." James stood up and headed for the door.

Carlos squealed and ran in front of him, blocking the door. "James, stop! You have to think about this."

"I have. I'm tired of thinking about it. It's time to fix it." James said trying to get past Carlos.

The shorter man fought back as best he could but James might as well have been a tank. "James, seriously. You're not thinking straight! You can hurt someone!" Carlos yelled.

"That's the point! Move!" James yelled back angrily shoving Carlos onto the floor.

"You could hurt Kendall!" Carlos said from the floor, pleading.

James stopped dead in his tracks. His face cleared and he looked down at his small friend breathing heavy on the floor. James held out his hand to help Carlos up. He accepted it and they went back to the couch.

James put his head in his hands. "What are we supposed to do? My instincts are screaming at me to stay out of it but then I also can't shake this need to punch something."

Carlos slowly scooted over away from his scary friend. James actually laughed and looked at him. Carlos always managed to cheer James up when it was just the two of them. They didn't hang out as much because James was almost always guaranteed to be with Kendall. Unless Kendall was with Dustin. So, Carlos and James were probably going to be spending a lot of time together in the coming days. James didn't even think he could look at Kendall without his heart breaking for him. There was no chance he could actually hang out with him alone. Of course neither of the guys wanted to hang out with Logan either. Yeah, they had to for work, but that would be it.

Carlos finally told James about how he was needed on set. They decided to tell Scott Carlos got lost on his way. It wouldn't be hard to believe seeing as how it'd happened twice before. They also agreed to not bring up the "Lustin" issue unless they were completely alone. They didn't want Logan or Dustin to know that they knew. Carlos really wanted to believe it was a one time thing and it would never happen again. Maybe Dustin wasn't wearing his glasses that day. James knew it wasn't true and they were both just cheating cheaters but he didn't want to hurt Carlos. Or Kendall. No matter what they did, Kendall was going to get hurt. So, why not prolong it a little while until James found an opportunity to do something.

That would all be easier said than done. Carlos and James had to be extremely careful every day. Keeping this secret was their toughest role they had come to face. A true test of their acting chops. That's how they had to look at it. It's all just an acting exercise. It helped keep James calm to pretend.

Of course, knowing James, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to try to make Kendall see what was going on. They'd all be on set and James would make a random "Well, where's DBelt?" comment. Usually, he'd look right at Logan and Logan would shrug not showing the least bit of worry or anything that was incriminating. James would get a little bit more impatient every time Logan acted aloof.

One day, a week later, Carlos noticed Dustin had been missing for a couple days and he asked Kendall.

"Oh he's got some kind of bug that's going around. I think it's like the flu or something. He won't even let anyone come over cause he thinks he's contagious. I just want to take him some soup or Pringles or something! Poor guy." Kendall frowned.

James wanted to puke. Kendall cared so much for him. For this, cheater! Dustin didn't deserve him. No one did. _Kendall's too perfect for him. He's too perfect for anyone. He deserves so much better. I'm not even good enough for him…Well, that's a silly thought. Me and Kendall. Huh…Nah, it'd never work. Would it? No! Of course it wouldn't. I'm not even gay!_

That was the first time James really noticed Kendall's hands. He couldn't look at Kendall's face for the rest of the day. Every time he did, he felt those questions festering inside of him again. If he just focused on Kendall's hands instead, his mind didn't wander to how deep Kendall's eye seemed to go. By the end of that day James was ready to burst from all the conflicting thoughts going on in his head.

He didn't like Kendall and that was that. He was just trying to protect his friend. Nothing more. James was just a really good friend.


	4. Chapter 4

Please step away from the pitchforks! I know I'm like waaaay overdue for an update and I'm sorry. I wish I had a cool excuse like I got famous really fast and was on tour or Kendall and I eloped or something really ridiculous like I was busy with school or something. Psh. That'd be too unbelievable. But, alas, I'm just lazy. Sorry. You guys I feel like a horrible person. :/ But! Hopefully this makes up for it!

*Dislcaimer* I don't own Big Time Rush or Dustin Belt. :( Not cool bro.

It had been over a week since Logan and Dustin had had their... moment and Dustin was still home sick. Kendall was still worried but work kept him busy and distracted. Dustin was extremely grateful. It wasn't like the old days though. When it was just Dustin and Kendall hanging out with no distractions but each other, Kendall could always tell when something was wrong with his best friend. The past couple of years had slowly pushed them apart. They were still best friends and in love but Kendall's schedule slowly drove them apart. Of course, the sex was amazing, but it had become predictable and a bit scarce. That's what's supposed to happen right? You get so comfortable with someone that it calms down after a while. You're just together. Content.

That day though, Dustin wasn't content. He felt alive when he was with Logan. He had never felt what he felt when he was with Logan. It was so bizarre to Dustin how strongly he felt. He loved Kendall of course. What he and Logan had done made him feel so dirty and wrong that he couldnt help but feel sick. This weekend was it though. Monday morning he was going to tell Kendall what happened. He hadn't decided if he was going to mention his transgressions had been with a certain short brunette yet. He did not want to hurt Logan in any way. Telling Kendall they had made out would definitely hurt Logan as well as the blond. Mostly because Dustin knew Kendall would tell James and that guy was dangerous. Dustin knew he'd get knocked out no matter what but he didn't want that happening to Logan too.

So, leaving Logan out of it was probably the best idea. He wanted to keep Kendall as long as he could. So, he'd leave the decision up to the blond. If he knew the truth, well most of the truth, and he still wanted to be with Dustin, perfect. Dustin would be ecstatic and relieved beyond belief. If Kendall wouldn't forgive him, he didn't even want to think about that.

All this thinking was making Dustin nauseus. He dragged himself out of bed and headed to his den to play Call of Duty. That Zombie level was calling his name. Pringles sounded delicious right about then as well.

He'd just sat down and started the level when he heard a quiet knock at the door. He stood up to go answer it. He realized he was only in his boxers and a wife beater but he was supposed to be sick so he looked the part. He opened the door and his mouth fell open a bit, all the air leaving his lungs.

"H-hey Dustin."

"Logan. What are you doing here? I mean, hey. Are you ok?" Dustin asked. Logan just stood there looking like a kid on his frist day of school but oh so perfect.

"Everything's fine. We have the day off so I thought I'd- ya know. I wanted to see if you're ok. You're still sick right?" Logan tripping over his words was probably the cutest thing Dustin had ever and will ever see.

"About that. I think you and I both know I'm not really sick." They both laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah... Well-"

"Do you wanna come in?" Dustin didn't mean to ask so loudly or quickly. "I mean, just if you don't have anything better to do..." He bit his lip. Since when did Dustin get this nervous?

Logan smirked, "I'd love to." He walked past Dustin and he closed the door. He took a deep breath. Dustin turned around and saw Logan sitting on his couch with his arms stretched across the back. He looked completely comortable, maybe even a bit cocky. _Fuck. So hot._ Dustin thought. _Control yourself DBelt. You're just a couple dudes makin out. Hangin out! Not makin out! No making out! Absolutely not. Pull yourself together Dustin. Fuck, you sound like a teenage girl!_

"So Logan!" Dustin said trying to silence his thoughts. ''Is everything ok? I mean, ya know, are we..cool?" _Well, this is awkward. All I wanna do is talk to him and now I can't. Well, I'd like to do more than talk but- NO! Pull it together Dustin. Quit staring at his crotch! He really shouldn't sit with his legs that wide. Gives people the wrong idea. Does he do it on purpose? Oh I should be listening._

"You tell me. I don't have the luxury of avoiding the set and K- the guys," Dustin couldn't help but notice he couldn't even say Kendall's name, "so I haven't been able to really talk to you since that day. So, I figured I'd come check on you since you're "sick"." Logan air quoted with his fingers and smirked.

"Don't you air quote me." Dustin laughed as he walked over towards the couch. "I am sick." He even faked a cough just to sweeten the deal.

"Oh bull shit. You don't have to lie to me. I'm not stupid."

"Alright, fine. Look, Logan, about the other day-" Dustin started.

Logan had wanted nothing more than to talk to him and figure out where his head was. However, now that he was about to know, he was afraid. Afraid Dustin wouldn't say what he wanted to hear. So, to buy himself some time, he interrupted.

"Hey. We don't have to talk about this now. Why don't we just hang out for a while? Just hang like a couple of normal guys. You know? Do the whole bro thing. Chillax. Kick it like homies."

"Stop. Please." Dustin laughed. "We can do all of that if you quit talking about doing all of that."

Logan smiled at him. "Deal." They just sat there and smiled at each other. There was that feeling again. Dustin was the first to look away. He grabbed his xbox remotes and tossed one to Logan.

"You had impeccable timing. I just started this level. You know how to play right?" Dustin asked.

"If I say no, will you help me like you did with the guitar?" Logan asked quietly. Dustin's mouth opened a bit. Was Logan really trying to get him all riled up again? Before he could question it more, Logan started laughing. "Of course I know how to play Dustin. And I definitely know how to kick your ass as well."

"Oh, is that right? You've got a pretty big mouth." Dustin grinned.

"Yeah, well, you would know." Logan winked and popped a chip in his mouth.

_Fuck. So hot._ "Well, I just hope your nails are trimmed. We wouldn't want you breaking any." Dustin said with mock concern.

Logan gasped, "Are you implying that I'm a girl, sir?"

Dustin reached for a chip, getting as close to Logan as possible without seeming obvious. "Well, you do make noises like a girl."

Logan visibly shuddered. "Oh that's it. You're totally about to be my bitch."

Dustin laughed, "Whatever the pretty lady says."

They'd made it about 5 levels when they finally reached a suitable pause zone. Dustin stood up to stretch. He caught Logan checking him out as he arched his back and twisted his arms. He was going to comment on it but thought that Logan wouldn't deny it and they'd be right back on the couch picking up where they left off the other day.

"You wanna beer? I wanna beer." Dustin said heading into the kitchen.

"Yeah. Sure. Thanks. Zombie hunting is hard work." Logan said, his eyes burning a hole into Dustins back.

"Yeah. You're a true inspiration Logan. Killing those defenseless zombies for lil old me." Dustin said in his fake southern accent.

"My pleasure ma'am." Logan whispered from right behind Dustin. He'd used his ninja-like tread and snuck up on Dustin who was looking in the fridge for the beers. Dustin swallowed hard and tried to calm himself before facing what he knew was right behind him. The possible man of his dreams.

He stood up fully and turned to be faced with Logan's smirk way too close to him. They were almost chest to chest and Logan licked his lips very subtley. Dustin was starting to sweat. Logan grinned and grabbed one of the bottles before walking away, pleased with himself. "Thank you."

Dustin took a swig of his beer. "I thought we'd agreed that you were the girl here? You can't go around calling me 'ma'am.' I'm a man." Dustin said sitting on the couch by Logan again.

"So, does that mean that I'm your bitch then?" Logan laughed taking a few sips.

"It most certainly does. My lil Logiebitch." Dustin smiled.

"If you say so, master." Logan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Dustin gulped down more beer. _Fuuuuu. Why am I still drinking this beer? It's not helping the images going through my head right now._

"So, you want a tour or something?" Dustin asked trying to avoid where his thoughts were headed.

"Sure. You gonna show me your secret torture chamber?" Logan smiled as he stood up.

"Oh, Logie. Never on the first date." _Aw shit. Why the flirting DBelt! Why! You are leading this poor guy on. There's no hope for a relationship with him but you're pretty much telling him to blow you! Oh who am I kidding? Of course I want a relationship with him. Ugh. Why is he so perfect?_

"Well damn. I guess I haven't been naughty enough." Logan said taking another sip from his bottle being sure to wrap his lips around the top just so. It was enough to make Dustin's eye twitch.

Dustin opened his mouth to reply but shoved his bottle in his mouth before he had the chance to say something that would get him in trouble. _Alright, quick tour and that's it. Well, maybe more Zombies, but that's it! I'm not showing him my room though. That's a definite no-no._

"Oh, is this your room?" Logan said, going straight for the last door in the hall. _Shit._

"Yeah, but you don't wanna-" Dustin said following him, but Logan was already inside.

Dustin held his breath. He'd only ever let a select few into his room. It's his sanctuary. Of course Logan was allowed in there. Dustin just didn't want him to ever leave now.

He peeked through the doorway to see Logan's reaction. He half expected him to be laying in his bed, butt naked. He let out a breath when Logan was standing in the middle of his room, fully clothed, just surveying everything. He was relieved yet somewhat disappointed as well. He'd never admit that of course.

Dustin was getting slightly worried though at the pure look of concentration on Logan's face. Dustin could tell he was trying to memorize his room. He wasn't sure why. It was just a normal room. Plain white walls, a few posters but nothing fancy. It didn't even smell that great. It just smelled like him.

Dustin leaned against his door frame and watched Logan. Taking him in the way the other was taking in his room. Their eyes met in Dustin's closet door that was also a mirror. Logan grinned at him.

"So, pretty impressive huh?" Dustin smiled.

"It's so..." Logan spun slowly trying to find the right word, "you." He smiled brightly at Dustin. He walked over to Dustin's dresser and just looked at every little thing he treasured enough to put on display. "It's better than I'd imagined it." Logan said quietly. Dustin still heard him.

_Better than he'd imagined? He's imagined my room? I mean, of course I've imagined his too but still. He's imagined my room!_ Even though it was all in his mind, Dustin was still embarrassed by the girlish squeal he let slip in there.

Logan continued surveying all of Dustin's possessions on his dresser while the older brunette tried to keep his thoughts in check.

Logan moved his hand up to run over some of the things on the dresser. He felt Dustin's bowl of guitar pics, his sheathed samurai sword that was caked in dust, his random pictures of friends from high school, and finally a framed picture of the taller man with Kendall. His hand and eyes lingered on the picture. It was a normal photo. Just Dustin and Kendall standing there together, arms behind each others backs, smiling. Both of them had longer hair and looked a few years younger but it was definitely them. It had to have been taken around the time Logan first saw the two of them. The memory from that night flashed through Logan's mind. How different would his life be now if he had kissed Dustin and ended up with him? He would've been good enough to end up in a frame on his dresser. That didn't matter now. Kendall was standing in the place where Logan was dying to be. How could they both look so happy when Logan felt so miserable? This thought stopped Logan short.

_They are happy. Why can't you just be happy for them? You're not Kendall and you'll never be Kendall. You'll never be on this dresser._

He was staring at the photo when the edges of Dustin's smile blurred. Logan was crying. He refused to let Dustin see him like this. "Bathroom?" He said quietly, already walking toward the door.

"Yeah, it's right down the hall. What's wrong?" Dustin asked as Logan rushed past him. "Logan?"

Logan shut the door quickly behind him and locked it. He leaned against the door and slid down it before he finally let the tears fall. Dustin knocked on the door and kept asking if Logan was ok. When Logan wouldn't respond, he started asking if he needed anything.

_I need you to stop making me love you. That's how it has to be._ Just thinking that made Logan cry even harder.

What was going on with him? He never cried! He was one of the toughest of the guys. When things started heading south with the group and they were fighting, he was the level headed one. When Kendall or Carlos got a little angry about something, he was always the more calm one that balanced them out. When James was mad, well no one could calm down James when he was mad except for Kendall. The point being, he never cried!

For example, the other day they were all over at Carlos' house, having a bar-b-que/movie night and they decided to watch Titanic. Logan only teared up once! That's saying something! Kendall and James were both rubbing their eyes and sniffling for the last 30 minutes of the movie. Carlos, on the other hand, he was a mess. He bawled after Jack told Rose to get on the boat without him. That was game over for Carlos. He didn't stop crying until the movie was over. "I really thought they were gonna make it this time!" Carlos had cried. The point was, Logan doesn't cry.

Right now, that was hard to believe. He'd never cried this much in one sitting. It was never ending. He was finally breaking down. The pressure from work and from hiding his true emotions and feelinigs from his best friends were taking a toll. Most of all, he felt like a horrible person for what he had done to his best friend. He knew he had to tell Kendall at some point but the fear of losing his best friend was enough to make him shake. Logan let out a quiet whimper. It had been nearly twenty minutes of non-stop silent crying.

He heard Dustin's voice through the door, "Logan. Please. Please let me in." It was quiet and at Logan's level. Dustin must've been sitting against the door this whole time too.

Knowing that Dustin had just been sitting there waiting for him, made his heart ache. He scooted over to the wall and unlocked the door.

When Dustin heard movement and then a small 'click', he sprang to his feet and opened the door. Logan was sitting with his arms around his knees against the wall. He looked up at Dustin and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

"Oh God, Logan." Dustin closed the door and sat beside him, immediately pulling him to his chest. Logan threw his arms around his neck and went to his lap. Dustin could've punched fate in the face for this ironic turn of events as he was reminded of what happened the last time Logan was in his lap.

They just sat there together. Logan was all out of tears. Dustin was all out of words.

"Dustin?" Logan said after what seemed like forever.

"Yeah, Logan?" Dustin asked quietly. He pulled Logan closer when he felt him start to move. Logan had no intention of going anywhere, he just needed to look in Dustin's eyes when he told him this.

"I'm not Kendall" He said.

"I know you're not-"

"Let me finish. Please. I'm not Kendall, but I could love you too. You know that right? Even though I know you two are together, just know that. No matter what happens, I could love you." Logan said quietly as he layed his head back on Dustin's shoulder.

"I know Logan. If things were different, I'd love you back and we'd be happy together. I know we would. We'd just kill zombies together until we died." Logan smiled into Dustin's neck.

Dustin smiled. He sighed and let the smile drop as he realized that would never happen.

"And then I'd be on your dresser too." Logan sniffed.

"You'd be the only one on my dresser." Dustin whispered and kissed the side of Logan's head.

Logan slowly turned his head and Dustin continued kissing his face. Kissing away the tears Logan had cried for him. He kissed his eyelid, down to his nose and to the corner of his mouth. Logan looked him dead in the eyes and they fluttered shut as they leaned in. They shared one final kiss. One kiss to show what could've been. One kiss they'd never explore any further. One kiss to break both their hearts into a joined pile of a million pieces.

Meanwhile, across the street from Dustin's house, there sat a jeep. A simple jeep that looked harmless enough in the daylight. Inside the jeep was something to be feared. A tall, brunette heart-throb sat there staring at the house of a cheater. The house of his new enemy. James had to put a stop to this. For Kendall.

Soooo? I know it's like crazy angsty but I'm cool with that for now. And this is definitely not the end. Knowing how /i like to go on and on and on, this thing'll probably last a bunch more chapters. And again, I'm so so so sooo sorry about the wait. I'll do better. Promise. :)


End file.
